High: crmd: several fixes for async resource delete (thanks to beekhof)

• retrieve the hash key from the message not xml (otherwise crmd dumps core because the "reference" attribute cannot be found)
• fix wrong autoconf definition name (amends ecd135e0c042) (otherwise the code which handles async deletion is not compiled in)
• remove spurious and premature error log message on failed resource deletion

(transplanted from 42f9ae7d4c98947142b7c23eb7a0b1a927a8f388)

Mercurial revision: 8a85966ef0491dc54faf0c24dcae1d6f7d465584